Dobar Dan

Manners matter in Croatia

My apartment in Zagreb is on the building’s eighth floor in an urban, working-class neighborhood of Zagreb – not a tourist zone – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tourists are few and far between – mostly contained to a high-rise hotel across the street – which appears to mostly host conference groups and business meetings, tour groups, and sports teams (it’s beside a major sports complex, some of which is undergoing major renovations). For example, I saw the Croatia men's national water polo team arrive one day. It’s how I always imagined city life to be – living among and interacting with locals.

Today I was taking out my trash and recyclables – the bins are on the ground level behind the building. Because I live on the eighth floor, I ride the elevator often (although I should take the stairs more). By taking the elevator, I am beginning to become at least visually acquainted with my neighbors in the building. It’s an old elevator that has a regular door after the sliding door.

Today I got on the elevator with a young man – late teens, early twenties. “Dobar dan (good day or good afternoon),” he said. I replied with the same. When I got off, he said, “Zbogom” (goodbye), I said goodbye in return – then he reached out and held open the regular door for me. I replied, “Hvala (thank you – and like a local – pronounced “Vala.”)

This was not the first time – or even the second time – this level of politeness has happened frequently these past few months. A week or so ago, a teenage girl did the same in the elevator. I’ve had both men and women of all ages greet me and hold doors. And not just in my apartment building – but also in grocery stores, shops, cafés, restaurants, Ubers, etc.

I use public transportation here, most often the tram. Young people and men always allow seniors (and women) to sit down first – and get up to let them have their seat.

At dinners and wine events I’ve attended, people always greet each other, usually with a handshake – or if they know each other well – with kisses on one or both cheeks and hugs. If you don’t at least shake a person’s hand, it is perceived as impolite. I know this because I have been introduced to people with both hands full and they still expected me to figure out how to free up a hand to shake theirs.

In the past in the U.S., similar behavior was much more common than today. My generation was taught to respect others and be polite at a very early age, but it seems this has gone away except in rare circumstances.

Good manners are genuine and instinctive here – not forced, not an afterthought. Politeness happens naturally – without hesitation – and it’s another reason I fell in love with Croatia.